Since posting the following thoughts on any of the games they pertain to would most likely result in them getting deleted by the Mods, I figure it should be safe to post them here. And since these thoughts are actually multiple complaints, why not do a top five list? Here we go...

1. ENOUGH "Sneak-A-Kiss" GAMES.
Aside from the repetition, I really only have one main pain about this genre. When a game relies solely on a single action, the only thing you can really judge it on is the artwork. To this point, most of them are crappily drawn and likewise animated. It's not like you need to devote a lot of time on the one control, so try at least to make the game visually, and aurally, satisfying.

2. ENOUGH HIDDEN ALPHABET/NUMBER GAMES, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
Seriously, I have seen so many of these as of late, I'm starting to consider illiteracy. These games usually use stills and art from popular media, and just "cleverly" paste distorted characters all over the frame. I've seen a few that used original art, but in some cases the characters were almost unnoticeable on the background; or the game suffered from the other big fault: shit audio. I just voted 0 on one of these that had sound effects about 50% louder than the BGM. And wouldn't ya know, they were those high-pitched, glass-cracking chimes that I guess are supposed to be a reward. If the reward is eardrum trauma, then they're a success. And while I'm on the subject...

3. TEST THE VOLUME ON YOUR GAMES AND VIDEOS.
This may seem trivial to others, but when I play a flash movie or game, I don't want the volume control to be the first thing I have to click. I realise that some flash has a high volume for a reason - i.e. screamers, pranks, what-have-you - but most of the time it's just loud. What sucks is that should I decide to stop the flash I'm currently viewing, which has a moderately loud soundtrack, I can blow out my damn speakers on the next flash, because some jackhole didn't take the time to thoroughly tweak his submission. Lovely.

4. 50% SHOULD BE THE LOWEST LEVEL OF "INCOMPLETE".
You'd think this'd be a no-brainer, but it's not. So to those who don't know: 100 frames does not a flash submission make. You've all seen 'em. Short, hastily-made stickman or sprite animations that last several seconds. In order to try and cover their ass, the author usually says something to the tune of "This is my first animation, please be gentle." Guess what, little Timmy? I'm not going to be gentle. Neither is this rolling pin. Either that, or they throw out some random letters: "shdfhasdhfhuioh. vote five!1!" Sure, I'll give ya five; right across the eyes! Of course, my personal favorite is when the author asks for suggestions on what should happen in his next entry. Considering that all of the action in the entry in question consisted of a blue stickman jumping across some blocks, how about... ANYTHING! If you want to do commissions, just say so.

5. SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAMMITY SPAM!
I know I'm not the first, and certainly not the last, user on here who's clicked on an interesting title, only to be blessed with loud, techno music, moving pictures of random assholes, and other assorted crap. If you'll allow me, I'd like to get a little personal with the authors of those little kernels. *ahem* THE JOKE IS FUCKING OVER! IT IS NO LONGER CUTE OR FUNNY! *ahem* Thank you. I don't usually feed trolls, but I've been wanting to get that out for a while now.

6. There is NO number 6.

Well, that's all I can think of right now. I know that some of these pertain to programming issues, and therefore the more "witty" of you will use the old "make a better one" retort. That's O.K., I've used it myself on multiple occasions. I will say, therefore, that I couldn't program a bug to move an inch if my life depended on it. Still, the fact that I can't program doesn't give others free rein to flood this site with - to be blunt - shit. I will give constructive criticism to work that I think can benefit from it, but I'm not your daddy, and you're not a 3rd grader whose science project is due tomorrow.

I look forward to y'alls' responses, including the obligatory asshole who tells me why I shouldn't do a top-five list.